“Lent, Nietzsche, and Gajar Ka Halwa: Ek Confused Seminarian Ki Prem Kahani with God”

When Faith, Philosophy, AI, and Exams All Attack at Once

There are two kinds of people in this world.
One who start Lent with discipline.
And one who start Lent with determination… and end it by giving up absolutely nothing.

Guess which one I am.

Lent has begun. The season of purification. The season of sacrifice. The season where people heroically give up chocolate, Instagram, or chai — and I sit there thinking: “Can I at least give up giving up?”

Inside, there is this sincere urge to purify myself.
Outside, there is gajar ka halwa.

And somewhere in between stands my vocation, my existential crisis, and Friedrich Nietzsche laughing sarcastically in the background.

Nietzsche Enters the Chat

Let us talk about Friedrich Nietzsche.

Ah, Nietzsche. The man who looked at Christianity and said, “God is dead,” and then watched Christians panic for 200 years.

His criticism of Christianity was brutal, sharp, almost poetic in its cruelty. He saw it as a religion of weakness — morality built from resentment, a “slave morality.” He thought it glorified suffering in a way that made humans smaller instead of greater.

And sometimes, I ask myself — was he completely wrong?

Because during Lent, sometimes it feels like we glorify fear more than love. We speak of sin like it’s a horror movie trailer. We speak of punishment like God is waiting with a cosmic attendance register.

But didn’t Christ die out of love?

Dear priests — with folded hands — please do not instill fear during Lent. Spread love. Because Christianity without love is just a very well-organized anxiety disorder.

Nietzsche attacked Christianity. But maybe he attacked a version of Christianity that had forgotten joy. Forgotten courage. Forgotten depth.

And maybe — just maybe — he was reacting to complexity masquerading as holiness.

Vyakarana, Hermeneutics, and the Art of Overthinking

In Indian philosophy, Vyakarana (grammar) is not just grammar. It is ontology. Language reveals reality. Words are not just tools — they are gateways.

And hermeneutics? The art of interpretation.

So here I am — interpreting God, interpreting Lent, interpreting myself — as if life is a Sanskrit sentence and I’m desperately searching for the correct sandhi.

The more the complexity… what is this? A cosmic joke?

Sometimes I think we complicate God so much that even God must be thinking, “Arre bhai, relax.”

Occam’s Razor says: do not multiply entities beyond necessity.

Maybe sometimes we need Occam’s Razor in Philosophy.
Maybe life is simpler than our footnotes.

Teilhard de Chardin: The Man Who Was Too Early

Then comes Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

Scientist. Jesuit. Mystic. Evolutionary visionary.

He said God is not separate from evolution — God is moving creation forward. The Omega Point. The universe unfolding toward divine fullness.

And what did the Church say initially?
“Nice thoughts, Father. Please keep them in a drawer.”

He was silenced. Not fully accepted. Almost treated like theological Wi-Fi — available but unstable.

But later? The world listened.

And this scares me and inspires me at the same time.

Because what if individual convictions are crushed in the name of order? What if complexity is rejected because it threatens simplicity? What if the prophet is simply early?

Teilhard teaches me something: Do not lose your conviction. Even if it is misunderstood. Even if it is postponed.

AI Uploading and Consciousness: God 2.0?

Now add Artificial Intelligence into this existential soup.

AI uploading.
AI gaining consciousness.

If machines become self-aware, what happens to us?
Will salvation require software updates?

If consciousness can be replicated, what is the soul?

But then I pause. Because maybe the real question is not whether AI will gain consciousness. The real question is: have we fully used ours?

Human beings already act mechanically.
We already outsource thinking.
We already scroll instead of reflect.

And we are afraid of machines becoming human?
We are still struggling to become human ourselves. --- The most important Line.

The Existential Crisis (Limited Period Offer)

There is this dread. I don’t know why. It just sits there. Like an unpaid electricity bill.

Maybe this meaninglessness will lead me to meaning.

Maybe this crisis is not an enemy but a doorway.

Faith and reason — people say they are at war.
But honestly? There is no war.

Life is simple.
No one can make you believe deeply what you do not want to believe.

Belief is not forced. It is chosen.

And I am beginning to realize: vocation is not something that happens to you. It is something you choose — again and again — even when you feel passive.

These days, I feel like everything is happening to me.
Exams are approaching. A real cross to be carried. A very practical penance.

As I immerse myself deeper into Lent, syllabus immerses itself deeper into my anxiety.

God, please have mercy.

What Makes a Vocation… a Vocation?

What makes a vocation truly a vocation?

Is it external affirmation?
Inner peace?
Or stubborn commitment?

Slowly, I am forming my own philosophy:

Human beings are never automatically correct.
They have to make things correct.

God is personal — deeply personal — and at the same time far beyond our reach.

Jesus is the one who fully lived human life — experienced everything: rejection, joy, betrayal, hunger, doubt, death.

So why should we limit ourselves?

The more we limit ourselves, the more ignorant we become.
When we immerse ourselves purposefully into life — that is when life emerges from its depths.

Experience is not the enemy of holiness.
Cowardice is.

Human Dignity (The Boring Seminar That Was Actually Important)

I attended a little, slightly burdening seminar on human dignity.

But one thought remained:

Human dignity is respected only when an individual is faithful to himself.

If I betray myself, I will eventually betray you.
If I live authentically, I will respect your authenticity.

There is a lot wrong in this world. I don’t know who is responsible. Systems? Individuals? History? Ego?

Reality is always hidden behind layers.

And yet… everyone is correct in their own place.

The problem begins when all these “correctnesses” collide.

Maybe my real problem is not truth.
It is understanding.

Choices, Freedom, and Self-Imposed Prisons

Sometimes I think choices bind us into unnecessary rules.

We choose something — and then build a prison around it.

Maybe some rules can be avoided. Maybe we need to create our own terms.

This could be wrong.
But alternatives must be explored.

Otherwise, we live borrowed lives.

So What Now?

So here I stand:

• Between Nietzsche’s hammer and Christ’s cross.

• Between Teilhard’s evolution and Occam’s Razor.

• Between AI consciousness and my own unconscious habits.

• Between Lent and gajar ka halwa.

• Between exams and eternity.

I feel dread.
I feel conviction.
I feel passive.
I feel responsible.

And maybe that is what it means to be human.

Maybe meaning is not found by running away from complexity, but by walking through it — humor intact.

Maybe Christianity is not about fear, but about radical love.
Maybe vocation is not about perfection, but about perseverance.
Maybe existential crisis is not a collapse, but construction in progress.

Or maybe I am just overthinking again.

At the end of all this philosophy, all this theology, all this AI speculation, all this Lenten drama — one prayer remains:

Lord, let my heart rest in You alone.

And one question remains:

If everyone is correct in their own place,
how do we live together without destroying each other’s truths?

And one final confession:

I am still waiting for chapatis.
And gajar ka halwa.

Because salvation is important.
But dessert is also a powerful Metaphysical experience.

Bas itna hi kehna tha.

Student of Philosophy - Rohan Brahmane SJ