Sooooooooooo Long, Guys! — On Exams, Existence, and the Illusion of Settling

Sooooooooooo Long, Guys! 

Yes, I’m Still Alive

Hello, people. What’s up? I genuinely hope everything is fine with all of you. I know—it’s been long. Very long. I can almost hear you asking, “Where did this fellow disappear?”

Before you file a missing-person report, here’s the truth: exams happened. And before that, my birthday happened. And after that, exhaustion happened. Now, finally, the exams are over, and I have returned—slightly older, slightly wiser, and significantly more tired.

The Great Myth of “Getting Settled”

You know what I’ve realized, guys? We never really get settled. Ever.

We like to believe that after a certain moment—after a certain degree, job, salary, or title—life will politely calm down and let us breathe. That moment never arrives.

Life keeps bombarding you with new challenges, new responsibilities, new uncertainties. Just when you think you’ve figured things out, life changes the question paper.

That, I’m afraid, is the brutal truth of existence.

Discipline: A Good Idea That Hurts

These past days were not easy. Studying for exams while organizing community responsibilities was a struggle. Somehow—by grace, luck, or stubborn survival instinct—I managed.

For the past three weeks or so, I’ve been trying to discipline my life a bit more. And let me tell you something very honestly: discipline hurts.

But whether you do good or bad, you take the blow. And if you’re serious about life, you take responsibility for it.

My exams lasted six days, and it felt like I was rewriting the entire story of creation—again and again—on answer sheets. Tedious. Draining. Mentally exhausting.

In moments like these, strength is not optional. It’s compulsory.

Random Thoughts Are Still Thoughts

I know I’m speaking randomly. But honestly, something is better than nothing.

At least I’m not standing here like Schopenhauer, declaring that existence is an illusion and everything dissolves into nothingness and void. Nor am I fully disappearing into Kierkegaard’s spiral of despair and anxiety—though, let’s be honest, he visits occasionally.

Life is going on, of course. No doubt about that.

But something has changed.

Becoming Aware Is a Dangerous Thing

I am becoming more aware of my inner self—of what I want to be, how I want to live, and how I want to contribute.

This awareness pushes me harder. It demands more effort. People might say it’s unnecessary. In my eyes, it is absolutely necessary.

This endless love—for chemistry, for research, for music, for philosophy—it refuses to stop. And honestly, I don’t want it to.

Can We Ever Truly Feel Others?

Recently, I was talking with my friends about empathy.

Can a person truly empathize?

I often dream of seeing myself through someone else’s eyes—not through a video or imagination, but really. How do I feel to others? What kind of presence do I carry? Through what eyes do people look at me?

We talk about third-person perspectives, other-person perspectives—but is there really such a thing?

You might say yes, because we have language. But language is limited. It fails to communicate our most authentic selves. Our speech is always influenced—by fear, by power, by expectations.

This superficiality of the world troubles me.

These thoughts emerged while talking with my companions, many of whom are facing unfair situations—forced to make drastic decisions, or to endure heavy losses. It makes you wonder: what exactly is human life?

A task, as Fichte would say—where we are called to perform duties and grow?

Or a movement toward the Absolute, as Hegel would suggest?

I won’t put the entire theory of praxis here—reflection and action can wait for another day.

We Are Meant to Be in Relation

What I truly believe is this: humans must be in relation—with others, with society. Otherwise, loneliness slowly kills.

Even religion insists on this. We are meant to be in relationship with the whole society so that transformation becomes possible. There is no shortcut.

Yes, metaphysical questions demand attention. Yes, the search for knowledge is endless.

But the hardest task of all is learning how to be human—to relate to other humans as humans.

That takes time. A lot of it.

Republic Day and Selective Memory

People are celebrating Republic Day—and they should. Celebration matters.

But we must remember that the present is as important as the past. The sacrifices of freedom fighters should not only be celebrated; they must be practiced, interpreted, and defended.

If the nation does not stand on those values, then revolution becomes necessary.

Why we remain silent—only God knows. Maybe God still has hope. But scientifically speaking, hope works only when it is placed in compassionate hands and thoughtful minds.

Sometimes, even explaining this—to myself or to the world—feels exhausting.

No One Decides My Limits

At the end of the day, no one will decide how much I get in life. That will be decided by my hard work.

And this applies to everyone.

No one can decide that the door is closed for me. I will decide that. And if needed, I will open that door—or break it.

Struggles will happen. Mistakes will happen. But eventually, you reach the end as a finished product.

This does not apply only to individuals. It applies to society itself.

Settling Is the Biggest Illusion

So here is what this entire blog asserts—and refuses to apologize for:

Settling in life is an illusion.

Strife is daily. Growth is uncomfortable. Discipline hurts. Awareness exhausts. Relationships complicate everything.

And yet, this struggle is the only honest way to live.

So I leave you with questions rather than answers:

• Are we living, or merely preparing to live someday?

• Are we brave enough to stay restless?

• Can society change without personal responsibility?

• And if settling is an illusion, what kind of unfinished humans are we willing to become?

Until next time.

— Ronnie
Student of Philosophy